Friday 18 May 2012

How To Sweeten Up Telling Someone You Have Herpes

How to sweeten up the the talk
Say it with a cake? If that works for you then great.

On a more serious note though, telling someone you love or are interested in that you have herpes can be very embarrassing. If you've ever had to tell someone you have herpes, how did you do it? Did it go well? What would you do differently if you could?

If you pick the right time and say it the right way, there's a good chance things will work out OK.

Think about how you want your partner to take the news. Do you want it to seem like a huge problem? Of course not, so don't present it that way. If you say, "I have some awful news for you," your partner will likely take it as awful news. Instead, be casual, direct, and unemotional.

If you say, "You're going to freak out when you hear this," or "Don't freak out, but...," you are setting your partner up to panic either way.

Simply say you have herpes, and ask if he or she knows what that means. Be prepared to present the facts.

Choose the most appropriate setting - a relaxing one. Just the two of you. Where there won't be any distractions.

The worst time to tell, other than after having sex, is during foreplay or when your clothes are already off. That would not only spoil the mood, but it could also annoy your partner, starting the conversation on the wrong foot.

It would be best to let the topic come up naturally in conversation. That way, it would seem less like a bombshell and more like any other development in your life. For example, you could say, "Just so you know, my doctor called me yesterday with some test results, and said I have the virus that causes genital herpes."

If you've never slept with the person before, it's not impolite to ask if he or she has any sexually transmitted diseases. You could start the conversation by being the first one to ask.

You might be surprised at the number of stories we've heard where immediately after telling someone they have herpes they hear the response, "I have herpes too."

It's possible that he or she might also have been looking for the appropriate moment to tell you they have herpes.

Remember that your partner might take the news badly no matter how well you deliver it. In that case, don't get defensive. Allow him or her some time to think it over in private, calm down, and come to terms with it. It may not be the first challenge you've faced together, and if the relationship is valuable enough to continue, it won't be the last.

If after reading this you still can't bring yourself to have "The Herpes Talk", then you can always try a dedicated herpes and HPV social site like www.H-YPE.com where having the talk is not necessary.